I lay myself at Your feet
Asking You won’t You meet
Won’t You meet me
I cannot do it on my own
I cannot do it all alone
Here I am, oh, tonight
With my arms open wide
Won’t You come inside
Won’t You come inside, God
Come and fill this heart of mine
I’m in need of You
Of Your touch, of Your life, of Your love
I need You
I need You
Sometimes, I can’t help but pour my heart out on this blog. This is one of those times.
Here I am and here is a place I have been for a while. On the edge of surrender, holding onto the threads that keep me from just letting go. These threads are made up of the colors of my doubt, my pride, my lusts, my self, and slowly but surely, these connections are beginning to unravel. Worn down by the simple fact that, for so long I have used them to keep my soul connected to the past. I understand very little of what “letting go” truly means, but I know for certain that I can no longer hold onto these things. I am being weighed down and life is losing it’s luster. I repeatedly allow certain people into my heart that just do not deserve to be there. Today I wrote in my journal, “Everyone has the right to my kindness, but they do not have a right to my heart. The two are not intertwined.” But to let this person go, to say that I no longer allow him into my heart..well, that’s where God is going to have to step in..step in with His strength and wisdom and peace. Because my strength is built on a foundation that is too easily worn down. My wisdom is blinded by my desires, and I haven’t had peace over this situation for far too long. I have allowed myself to get to this place, and now I am asking God to forgive me..to forgive and to carry me from the edge-straight into the heart of beautiful surrender.
